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October 20, 2016
Melanie Ann Thurlow
Felt like I woke up today in a shallow grave.
The dirt from my past seemed to cover me.
Under my nails was the dirt and the grime.
I dug my own hole and now here I lie.
A shower can only make you so clean;
It can only wash off what you wear on your sleeve.
All of those demons hidden way down deep,
They don’t just disappear.
I watched as I washed them down the drain for years;
While really they just built up under my skin.
And today, they finally caught up to me.
They finally overwhelmed me, consumed me, buried me.
Sometimes it can be so hard to tell,
When you’re trying to put on a brave face for the world,
Where does what is fake become what is real?
When do our demons define who we are?
I took to my skin with a wire brush;
Trying to erase all of the things that I’ve done.
Convinced that those demons couldn’t hide for long,
I would make them disappear.
I watched as not a single one went down the drain;
They built up like poison under my skin.
But people come back from the grave sometimes.
A stopped heart starts to beat again from time to time.
The past needs to stay where it is, behind.
I dug my own hole, now out of it I climb.
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